After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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