i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
