How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
