Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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