Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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