do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
