just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
