If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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