You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
