he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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