PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
