Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
