she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
