I want to make a zoo with you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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