i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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