He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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