OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
