the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
