He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
