i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
