no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
