The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
