Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
