sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
