You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
