just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
