Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
