I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I see more hoeing in ur future
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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