I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
