So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
