So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
