dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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