I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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