They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
