found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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