Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
