Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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