his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
