I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
40s are totally the cure
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
