Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
