why didn't you poke me back
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
