Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
