I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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