Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
