so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
