I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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