You smell like a Billy Joel song
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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