It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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