What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I skipped work to stalk him.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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