dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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