I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
