How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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