he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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